Feed the Soul and the rest will follow.

I need to do something about my weight, not because of how I look but because of how I feel. I feel sick, all the time, I get headaches, all the time, I am out of breath, all the time, I am tired and lethargic, all the time.

I need to do something about it.

I know what I have to do but I’m afraid. Mostly, I’m afraid that I will fail but there are underlying issues as well, that I wasn’t aware of until just now.

I’m afraid that trying to do better, fitness and health wise, is going to take over my life, like it always has done in the past.

I’m afraid that I am going to obsess about food constantly and won’t be able to think about anything else but that.

I’m afraid that I’ll have to give up all the things I love to do like journaling and scrapbooking and creating because I’m going to either be too busy trying to loose weight or too tired to stay awake because I have been busy trying to loose weight and getting up early in the morning to do so.

I’m afraid that I won’t have any time left for my family because I will be too busy doing exercise, or that I won’t be able to do social activities with them because I will be too afraid to eat.

I’m afraid that my lack of enthusiasm for exercise will stop me from continuing because for me, it’s way too boring.

One would think that if I am suffering as much as I said I am in the beginning, that would out way/subdue any of my fears – BUT IT DOESN’T!!

I am so confused, why is my health not as important as it should be, being unwell makes me miserable and yet my fears keep me from doing anything about it. Or am I really just that lazy???

Thinking about it now, I actually think that it’s because my soul is being suffocated, and if my soul is unhappy then the rest of my life suffers. I know that when I am soulfully happy then I have a lot of enthusiasm for all areas of my life, but when it is not happy then my body suffers.

Feed the soul and the rest will follow.